Eyes
by FluffleNeCharka
Summary: [Drabble.] Chase reflects on how he fell in love with Omi. Takes place in the episode 'The New Order'. [In case you're blind, this is OmiChase and therefore SLASH.]


Author's Notes: Okay, I'm bored. It's ten minutes after midnight. This whole thing is being written in the car after a night at some long, documentary type movie that I got dragged to. (Don't ask.) This is just to clear my mind of all those horrible, drab thoughts. I didn't put much effort into this… But I hope you like it anyway.

I own nothing, don't flame the pairing, blah blah blah, etc., etc.

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I thought I was past this.

I never thought I could love. Even back in the days before I sold my soul, I shook my head at the thought. It was beautiful, yes. But love was simply not for me. It was impossible for me to ever let someone come close enough. Even before I turned evil, I knew that love made someone weak, vulnerable. I didn't want to be hurt.

So I hardened my heart. I built walls physical and mental to keep love out. I convinced myself that when I sold my soul, I had sold my ability to love. I had a list of reasons I repeated in my head again and again to convince myself that it was impossible for me to love. The Heylin do not love. They destroy love, or use it. Those were my thoughts over the centuries as I built my lair, built my own army of sorts. I was trying so hard to keep everyone away from my heart.

But I hadn't thought of Omi as someone near to my heart.

I marvel at him sometimes. I've raped and murdered magnificent warriors, but one smile from this naïve Water Dragon and my heart aches. I can see that smile so clearly, how it reaches his eyes every time. It tortures me. I'm amazed that I never realized it before. When did I let down my defense? When did my priorities go from corrupting him to cuddling him? It shouldn't have happened. I am Chase Young; I manipulate love like a plaything. Love shouldn't be controlling me.

But I can see how it happened.

I was never shy to the idea of homosexuality, I simply never pictured someone of my own gender loving me. I didn't recognize Omi's hope for me to be good as love, because I never thought a boy like him could love a monster like me. I never realized the glimmer of light in his eyes for what it was/ I thought myself too evil, too corrupt for love. So, since I was lying to myself, it's only fitting that he wormed his way into my twisted heart. He was the last person I expected to love, therefore I loved him. Great. Now I'm being almost poetic about it.

Even when I realized it, I tried to hide it, behind snickers and sneers and taunts, all the while engraving my knowledge into his mind. I acted as though I was simply trying to lead him on, and yet in the back of my mind, I was uncertain. I was nervous. I was sure Omi would see through my ruse and see my affections. See that he, the most innocent of dragons, had managed to sooth the lonely heart of me, the most corrupt dragon in existence. Omi may act naïve, but being naïve doesn't make him stupid or blind. If he'd tried, he could have seen it.

But in the end, I'm my own worst enemy.

I obsessed over him. My protégé. My future personified, my downfall and with any luck my successor. I loved the way he grew up before my eyes. His black eyes going from innocent and carefree to dark and determined in a moment. I loved the change, the way he began to grow anxious when I was present. I began to love more and more of the little things about him.

I broke down after he freed me from Jack Spicer's grasp. I tried to fight him, and after my typical manipulations, I could see how troubled the little one was. His rounded face was creased with fear, because I was right. He was dark. He wasn't evil yet, however he still had darkness in him. For the first time, Omi was truly realizing that.

He turned to me, to say something.

And I couldn't resist kissing him. Distracting him, if only for a moment, from his troubles. I was beginning to grow weary of my own weakness. His sad look hurt more than murder, somehow. Omi didn't slap me like I thought he would when I pressed my lips upon his own. Instead he stood there, eyes closed and arms at his side. As though he truly enjoyed what I was doing. Finally, I broke away, and he blushed. After all, it's not right and never will be for a villain and a hero to love each other.

Then he asked a question that shook me to the core.

"Chase Young," he whispered, "Are you in love with me, or this another one of your tricks?"

Yet again the little monk had caught me off guard. Unsure of what to say, I looked away. If I told him I loved him, would he love me back? Did we even really have a chance? Omi didn't seem like the type to turn my love against me, but I'd been fooled before. I tried to figure out some lie to tell him that wouldn't hurt him. There was none.

His hand on mine startled me. The touch was warm and compassionate. My possessed eyes met his clear black ones. Those serious orbs I loved so much. He wouldn't hurt me, I realized. He wouldn't even think of it, not for a moment. Omi was dark, but not evil. He… he loved me. I knew as sure as I knew the sun would rise tomorrow.

But before I could answer, I heard Jack Spicer's footsteps. Panicked, I shoved Omi behind a pillar.

"Jack's coming, follow my lead!" It was such a rough command, nothing like my usual speech.

How could I help it, though? I had almost told a Xiaolin Dragon that I loved him. I had been seconds away from telling my enemy, my future ally, that I wanted to be with him. That wasn't like me. I thought my heart had hardened enough to prevent that. I was evil. Evil does not love. Evil does not give into pathetic emotions. I had sold my soul to rest easy in the knowledge that I would never have to worry about these things again.

I kept my gaze on Spicer. I knew if I glanced back at Omi and his deep, serious eyes, I would fall in love all over again.


End file.
